What did Thomas see in me?

Looking for the post about Thomas' passing?....it's here.

"Do you mind if I ask what Thomas saw in you?"

This is a typical question I get asked by folks. Once I put aside the small ego bruising that happens each time it's asked that way, I generally give the following glib answer....

"I don't know"

Which actually is not true at all. I do know. Very much so. And yet describing our relationship is hard to do. I'll make a feeble attempt here, but know that there is something mysterious about our relationship, almost surreal and hard to put into words. On some level it would be like asking Romeo what he saw in Juliet. (Okay a tad dramatic, but you get my point, yes? A tad dramatic? Jeez)

Let me say this, Thomas and I hit it off instantaneously. Meaning...we clicked, had energy and loved being around each other from the moment we met. It was just an easy relationship for both of us, which with Thomas, I think was somewhat rare. I didn't have to chase him down and convince him of my greatness. We just instantly knew we wanted to spend more time together.

If I had to pinpoint it, I would say one of the biggest things that allowed us to get so close is the absence of ego I have (which this posting contradicts). Sure creativity, intelligence and all that played a role as well. (Thomas didn't 'do' stupid). But bigger than that, I think was that when I was with Thomas I didn't want anything from him. I just enjoyed him. And yes, even when he was very un-enjoyable.

I'm going to go out on a limb here (what? like the rest of what I write is safe and mainstream? lol) and share that one of the biggest reasons I was attracted to Thomas....was...from a female energy point of view, he needed to be loved. I never met anyone that screamed love me more than Thomas. You couldn't be around him, or at least I couldn't, and not know that his soul was screaming for intimacy.

I picked up on it, again not intellectually so much, as energetically, the first day we spent together.

In short, Thomas seemed lonely to me.

And me being someone who gets her needs met through other people, it was a match made in heaven. (I'm kidding, but only slightly) I have tons of love to give, he needed to be loved. What else is more important in life? Seriously.

Knowing this, I made a conscious effort to show and express love to him. It took months before some of it would penetrate...but it did. I could see it. He was softening. He was opening up to me and I think to others as well. This may sound a bit contrived or even manipulative, but I promise you it wasn't. I just knew, if we were going to work together and spend time together I was going to bring a healthy dose of love to the relationship. I was going to love Thomas Leonard unconditionally no matter what happened. It may have been my number one contribution to him. We'll never really know I suppose.

While yes, we worked together on this amazing thing called CoachVille and I don't mean to imply our work wasn't amazing and it wasn't life-changing for a lot of folks (including Thomas and I), I'm trying to make a point, that it wasn't the work we did together that was special to us. That was an added bonus.

When Thomas and I were together we were happy. We laughed (I had no idea how funny Thomas till I spent day after day with him), we worked, we gave each other a hard time, we changed the world, but more important than the work, we were more than two people when we were together. There was this feeling of something greater than the both of us happening when we were in the same room. It was like individually were were/are great, fantastic people, but together the air in the room got bigger. I don't know how to explain it better than that.

So you can see, while I do have character traits and a personality that made me a prime candidate to work well with Thomas (such as....honesty, humility, humor, intelligence, energy, creativity, cynicism, and most importantly discernability -meaning I could read him well), it was something greater, something on a soul or heart level that made us such wonderful soul mates and friends.

Hope this helps.....

s

p.s. if you are interested in joining my personal R&D team you can sign up at www.susantaustin.com (i don't know enough about the blogging software to put the link right here. can anyone help me with this?)

Comments

[Coop]

Thanks for sharing this, Susan. I too, sensed Thomas's need for love. You're right - he was really starting to open up several weeks before he passed away. It was beautiful to watch. He was very lucky to have you in his life! And so are we :)

[Maryam Webster]

Hi Susan, I echo Coop's comments, thanks! To put a link into TypePad you can do this through simple HTML or via a TypeList. Check out Andy Wibbels blog for how to place links into a typelist (to appear to the side of your blog - check mine for a few examples of this) http://andywibbels.blogs.com/easy_bake_weblogs/2004/01/add_a_typelist.html

To make a simple HTML link in your post, you just paste in the URL of your R&D Team like I did with Andy's above. If you'd like to email me I would be happy to help you post an exact link with the verbiage you wish surrounding it. I tried to do a show 'n tell here but the comment box isn't accepting my trying to fudge it around so you can actually see the HTML code. :-(

Hope this helps!

[Maryam Webster]

...it would possibly help if I included my email address as I see the comment box only includes the URL: info @ maryamwebster.com

Blessings to you...